Because I can't manifest my own entries... but I'll make up for it by adding lots of sarcastic witticisms, denoted by (parentheses).

[ ] I am bi or gay (but you are... yeah, you)
[ ] I've consumed alcohol (not in my life)
[ ] I've run away from home (I've gone for runs that started at my home, though)
[ ] I collect comic books (I have a few, but I'm hardly a collector)
[ ] I shut others out when I'm sad (Doesn't matter how I'm feeling)
[ ] Open up to others easily (That one is also sexual)
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world (doo DOO doo DOO doo)
[x] I watch the news (But not local news, not on your life)
[x] I own an ipod or mp3 player (recently, thanks to Jenn... isn't an iPod an mp3 player?)
[x] I own something from Hot Topic (A couple shirts and a poster)
[x] I love Disney movies (You have no idea)
[x] I am a sucker for hair/eyes (I literally vacuum up loose eyeballs and hair)
[ ] I don't kill bugs (I don't like these double-negative ones)
[x] I curse regularly (Like a sailor with Tourette's)
[ ] I paid for that cell phone ringtone (I paid for a cable so I wouldn't have to pay for them)
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name (Well, I did in my old one... XXXWellHungXXX)
[x] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation (Though it didn't really slip... intentional and often)
[ ] I love Spam (Love it? I can't even spell Spum)
[x] I cook well (well enough... I mean, I can follow a recipe just peachy)
[x] I would wear pajamas to school (I usually sleep in my school clothes)
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie (But I rented Fitch)
[ ] I have a job (I have THE job... I'm unemployed)
[ ] I love Martha Stewart (But we do share a birthday)
[ ] I am in love with love (I love, but I refuse to 'x' a statement so stupid)
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS... (I would NeVeR)
[x] Sometimes I am self-conscious (I'm often conscious, and I'm always self)
[x] I love to laugh (But I used to HATE laughing)
[ ] I smoke a pack a day (Unless you're talking about Jimmy's hot meat... Jimmy Dean Sausages)
[ ] I loved Go Ask Alice (I realize this is a title, but it seems like the person who was writing lost their train of thought)
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick (I don't have them when I am sick)
[ ] I can't swallow pills (I can, I just choose not to)
[ ] I eat fast food weekly (That would be an improvement over my current diet)
[x] I have many scars (Yeeeeah, chicks dig scars... especially when you burn your face off)
[x] I've been out of this country (For less than an hour)
[ ] I believe in ghosts (Retarded bullshit)
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room (I just can't sleep if I KNOW he's here)
[ ] I am really ticklish (I'm mildly ticklish)
[x] I've seen a therapist (On the street, and on TV)
[x] I love chocolate (But I can't eat it, or I'll get FAT. But it's SOOOOO good)
[x] I bite my nails (And other people's nails)
[x] I am comfortable with being me (More Dr. Phil bullshit)
[x] I play computer games/video games when i'm bored (And when I'm not)
[ ] Gotten lost in your city (Well, not LOST, just not where I intended to be)
[ ] Saw a shooting star (But I've seen several celebrities injecting heroine)
[x] I Had a serious Surgery (Eye surgery, they had to remove lucky number three...)
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas... (We covered this already)
[ ] I have kissed a stranger (They might give me mouth herpes)
[x] Hugged a stranger (Well, might as well have been a stranger, don't know their names)
[x] Been in a fist fight (But never for more than like 6 seconds)
[ ] Been arrested (If the police only knew)
[x] Laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose (I've had it come out other holes, too)
[ ] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator (You gotta be some kinda asshole)
[x] Made out in an elevator (I'd say I made out pretty well)
[ ] Swore at your parents (Never AT them, just in their general direction)
[ ] Kicked a guy where it hurts (At least I hope not)
[ ] Been skydiving (But I did try chess)
[x] Broken a bone (Yeah, her pelvis!)
[ ] Played spin the bottle (Truth or Dare Jenga is more versatile, as in nudity)
[ ] Gotten stitches (Funny comment here)
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour (But I did drink TWO GLASSES)
[x] Bitten someone (Probably)
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls (But I have been to Viagra Rises)
[x] Gotten the chicken pox (Someday I'm going to own a chicken named Pox)
[ ] Crashed into a friend's car (How random)
[ ] Been to Japan (*GONG*)
[x] Ridden in a taxi (Actually, it was just some guy's car, but he ran a taxi out of it)
[ ] Shoplifted makeup (Oh, you know me, me and my makeup)
[ ] Been fired (You have to have a job to get fired)
[x] Had feelings for someone who didnt have them back (Who hasn't, seriously)
[ ] Stole something from your job...[pens, paperclips, etc] (Look two lines up)
[ ] Got it on, on a blind date (But I raped a deaf-blind date once)
[x] Lied to a friend for a good reason (Didn't tell them I hated them)
[x] Had a crush on a teacher (On a bone-only basis)
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans (If only I had boobies)
[ ] Been to Europe (But I've been to France) (kidding.)
[ ] Slept with a co-worker (Again, no job)
[ ] Saw someone dying (Well, not AS they were dying)
[x] Are in love right now (Of course)
[ ] Driven over 400 miles in one day (I wasn't driving, but I've RIDDEN over 800)
[ ] Been to Canada (Fuck Canada [Hey, fuck you buddy!])
[ ] Been on a plane (And in one)
[ ] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show (Drag-queen musicals? I'll pass)
[ ] Thrown up in a bar (It was more of a tube-like rail)
[ ] Eaten Sushi (It's raw enough to eat me)
[ ] Been snowboarding or tried (Sledding is easier)
[ ] been skiing (Again, sledding or discing)
[x] Been ice skating (Like twice, ten years ago)
[x] Met someone in person from the internet (I'm in loooove)
[ ] Gone to a moto-cross show (I would love to go to the X-Games though)
[x] Gone to a college/JC counts (U-C-L-A Fight Fight RUN!)
[ ] Done hard drugs (Hard drugs did me)
[x] Taken painkillers (Advil is a painkiller, right?)
[ ] Had someone cheat on you (It was with my twin brother, so I don't count it)
[ ] Cheated on someone else (It was with my twin brother, so I don't count it)
[x] Knew the person you got this survey from (Thanks twin brother)
[x] Were so bored you took this survey (Nah, I'm watching TV while I do it)